Have you ever transcended time and space? Yes. No... Time, but not space. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Stop what you're doing right now and go rent or buy "I heart Huckabees" you won't regret it.

Confessions of Shawn

I decided that I would try and write down all of my faults (that I can think of) here in attempts to better myself

1. I lie a lot. Even about stupid stuff that has no real bearing on my life.
2. I change who I am depending on who I'm around. I know people do that a lot, especially when hanging out with your girlfriend or family, but I do it with just about every person.
3. I despise my mother. More so now, not having to see her everyday. I used to have this way of zoning her out everyday when I was younger. But now I talk to her every few months or so and just wonder how she could treat me the way she did. It really disturbs me now.
4. I'm taking characteristics of my mother. I'm excedingly freaked out by this. I think it's just the fact that she's not there anymore and there's this void, all be it a good void, but a void none the less. I remember how I used to think that, for the most part, people were good. Mainly because they weren't her. But with her gone I can get an overall view of people and not compare them to her.
5. I am very lazy.
6. I have no backbone. Not literally.
7. I'm incredibly insensitive. Except for the times that I decide to have an emotional breakdown.
8. I hold grudges. (Which I've been actually doing pretty good on so far.)
9. I argue to the death that I'm right instead of just letting things go.
10. I killed JFK... wait... I mean... the bullet.. fired by Lee Harvey Oswald that did the 360 in midair did... yeah..
11. I like to screw with peoples minds. Horrible, I know, but these are the confessions.


There are some more that I'm not going to say right now, but I know what they are so that's good enough for me. I just wanted to say something truthful. I'm going to be 21 soon and that's kind of freaky for me. I can't say that I've been dissappointed with the way my life has turned out thus far, but I also can't say that it's been everything that I've ever dreamed. The thought of having children when I get a little older and more stable has crossed my mind resently. I always thought that I would be a terrible father that would never pay any attention to them. Since Nolan went to Utah, all I want to do is go out there and see him. He's not even my son, and I have such strong connection to him. Feeling those feelings toward my nephew, I know it would be ten fold that if I were to ever have children of my own. When the day comes when my main faults diminish and I have some stabilily in my life I would like to adopt children of my own. That's about all for tonight, I think I emoticized (oh yes, that's a word) myself enough for now. Thank you and good night.

Shawn

Cream and the cheese and the creamy cheese!

I actually have stuff to write about, hurray! My original plan of me and Shanna going to Milwaukee were modified when Ian gave me a call at about 3 p.m. and asked if he could hitch a ride. I agreed and rushed him over to donate plasma so that we could get there on time. We finally left at 5:30 (because I left my directions at my house, DOH!). We got there and the entire city decided that it wanted to be under construction so my directions were basically null and void once we got off the interstate. We eventually found the theater and parked about 4 blocks away because we didn't know where the closest parking spots were. The play was pretty good and me and Shanna laughed at the massive destruction of J.B.'s house and bank... (I know we're horrible). After that we looked for a place to eat while I was totally freaking out because I hate driving in cities that I don't know very well. We pulled over and Shanna was behind the wheel and after a failed attempt found Domino's! It was very fun as well as the awkwardness factor decreased a lot since last time I hung out with J & I (way to lazy to actually spell out names, but not too lazy to write this very long explanation). And I apologize for any awkwardness if there was any between us. Me and Shanna were talking about stuff on the way home while Ian was zonked out in the back (I took a frying pan to his cranium). We got into a tizzy about some stuff that was really not important at all. The more I think that we aren't a couple, the more we do things that make me think we are, it's very strange. Anywho... I dropped off Ian and was pretty exhausted myself so me and Shanna crashed instantaniously when we got home. On Saturday Shanna went to Madison shopping with her "little sister" and bought me the directors cut of "Donnie Darko", YAY!!! And also the Neurotically Yours Foamy cartoons! We watched those and Shanna got sleepy while I was wide awake so she slept while I snuck out and went to Levi's and played some gamige for a few hours. Sunday I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. All my friends are Christian, so they usually hang out and do stuff. I'm always invited, but I always get tricked into praying and what not (tricksters!). Only joking of course, so be true to your school, just like you would to your girl or guy. Go let your colors fly.

shawn

P.S. - I also forgot to mention the fact that I had a really really (insert many adjectives here) dream on Saturday night that I won't soon forget.

"C" is for cookie

Weekend is fast approaching and I'm feeling pretty groovy. The hicks left a day early, thank God, and now it's quite peaceful here. I got a haircut today and the lady who did it said that the person who gave me my last one did a real crappy job. I guess my eye isn't as keen as hers because it looked fine to me. I also went to the bank and got my change transformed into bills. I get the extremem priviledge of donating plasma in the morning and will talk with Nora since I haven't seen her in about a week and a half. Also if anybody is looking for a good movie to rent, check out "Eulogy", it's pretty funny in my opinion. Me and Shanna are going to see Ms. Radditz play tomorrow night, hopefully, which better be good or I will storm the stage and start doing the robot. That's all folks, have a specondertastic weekend.

Shawn

Wishful thinking

"The week is almost over" I keep telling myself. These hicks are getting worse every night they are here. This guy puked in the stairwell last night, which was just fantastic. Not to mention I think that they had a prostitute with them. But after tonight there will be only one more night of dealing with these primordial neanderthals. I took a bath today which was fun because I'm all about the invigorating shower usually. Other than that not much is happening. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to retract my statement about Las Vegas. My boss shut me down for that one (grr). So it looks like I won't be losing any money in May :(. Me and Shanna might go to Niagara Falls again this year if we have enough money. They have the coolest arcade I've ever seen their! That's mainly the reason we would be going back. It has a bowling alley and pool tables and not to mention an incredibly vast and varying array of video games. It's super sweet! And the falls are good too.. I guess... sort of... sheesh. BYE!

Shawn

Urge to kill rising...

HICKS! They are everywhere here tonight. They all came here for some stupid Blains-hick get together. It's after 2a.m. and they are still up drinking and being stupid. They are being very loud and obnoxious in the pool and even more so up in their rooms. I've been getting complaints about them all night. And the worst part is, is that they're here all week! AHHHH! When I see people that are older than me doing stuff that I would be caught doing when I was 12 it's a very sad day. Oh well, *sigh*. Everything else is good though. I hung out with Ian on Sunday for a few hours. We quoted movies a bunch and I did my wookie impression while playing Halo 2 and Ghost Recon 2 (I suck at FPS'). I tried out for Esperanza again this semester which was kind of weird because Becci told me that we were just having a meeting (LIAR!). I was hoping to update my blog template after my last post but my computer crashed. My CPU fan decided it didn' want to work anymore. I went down to Rockford and bought another one that has these cool blue lights (ooooh pretty) and it works fine now. Soon I will update with a bunch of stupid photos from my collection. That's about all for now, I will talk to you all later.

Shawn

Waiting anexiously

So it's Saturday and I'm posting because I was really bored today and am chilling out at Levi's house (without Levi) and just surfing the net and what not. I'm also just killing time until I get "the call" from Ian to "rip" (kind of unaware on how to rip but I'm sure I'll pick it up soon). Excitement is overwhelming me at the moment and time has decided to slow down. But not to fear because I am going to update my blog and get a new format going on... a super sweet one! Well anyways I'm going to get to doing that and I will update again soon.

Shawn

I miss Nolan :( 

Won't you take me to funkytown?

"Whammy, wham, wham, wazzle!" says Slurms McKenzie. Greetings and welcome everyone. I think that I'm doing quite well today, let me check... yes, I am. I talked to Ian a couple of nights ago. I know most people are like, "hey, I've talked to Ian before what makes that so special to write about?" Well, the thing is, I haven't talked to him in over 2 years, so we caught up on a lot of old jokes and overall goofy stuff that we used to do. Time was kind of flying because 2 hours went by very quickly and I was thinking to myself... wow I should probably do some work now. It was weird because I remember we would have the same random thoughts when things were said and it showed up even when we were IM'ing each other. But, anyways, that's all I really wanted to talk about for the moment. Only 7 hours of work and I'm off for the weekend!

Shawn

Traveling Man

What a day it has been indeed... where to start? How about the beginning. It started when Shanna called me at about 6:45 this morning and said "Hey, I threw my car into the ditch and the tire is flat can you take me to work?". The same time Shanna called me Amber (my relief at work) called in and said she was going to be a little late. I thought to myself... hmm... perfect. So Shanna called me back and said that Levi was picking her up and I didn't need to worry taking her but, I would need to pick her up. "No problem", I said with pride. Then about 5 minutes later she called and said "Hey, I left my emergency flashers on and Levi won't go back and turn them off. Either bring jumper cables when you come to pick me up or go turn them off soon". Me being lazy at the time thougth that jumper cables would be the best bet. So I donated plasma, got home and slept for about 4 hours. I picked up Shanna at 3:30 and we went to go and get her car. I changed the tire and thought my hands and toes were going to fall off due to frostbite. Shanna's dad met us there because he was going to check to see if there was rim damage because it looked like the tire had just fell off the rim due to the impact in the ditch. So I warmed up in my car while we tried to get a jump on Shanna's. Needless to say it didn't work out very well. While her dad was trying to revive her car my mom called me out of nowhere (everytime that my mom calls me I always thinks she's going to tell me that my dad died or had a heart attack or something, yeah I know it's morbid and pessimistic but, it's always my first reaction). She was talking about how they were going to Las Vegas on May 11th (my birthday) for a week and a half and wondered if I wanted to go. All she said I would need to pay for is the plane ticket and spending money for food and other miscellanious things. We would also be driving from Vegas to Logan, Utah to visit NOLAN!!!... (and Brian and Christa) I said I would talk to my boss in the morning and give her the okay to get the ticket. Shanna was kind of mad at me for going and not spending the day with her on my birthday. I was kind of angry at the fact that she didn't want me to do something that I wanted to do on my birthday, no less, but nevermind that. We couldn't get her car started at all and Shanna's dad called a tow truck to give us a jump. So we got back to her house and she showered and what not (being covered in coolant and oil stuff makes you want to shower appearantly). Then we headed to Farm & Fleet to get her tire back on the rim. Unfortunately the tire was "shredded" on the inside and she needed a new one. It cost a whole buttload of money too and I felt bad for her because she was just having a crappy day. So after that I went home and she went to get her last check from Arby's and was going to meet me at home for ice cream (eye cream as Nolan would say). We decided that it was a very long day and we both needed a nap (us cranky old people do that a lot). I was exhausted but couldn't sleep and finally got to bed around 9p.m. and had to wake up an hour later. So needless to say I'm a bit tired right now but I will be fine. I'm excited about the trip. Being with my parents might be a little (very) aggrevating but it will be worth it to see Nolan. On a side note I think my mom is going into the first stages of alzheimers. I was telling all these things over and over again. Maybe she just chooses what to hear and what not too. Well anyway that was my fun and exciting day. Hopefully I won't lose all my money (that I have hidden in my imaginary vault) in Vegas. Good day and night to you all.

Shawn

If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit!

Well it was a day among days today. I went to the bank today to refinance my car loan and ended up talking to the loan officer for about an hour and a half. I paid a good chunk on my priciple today as well *pats self on the back*. Me and Shanna made dinner tonight. I made some cheesy hash brown stuff and she made mini pizzas. Needless to say the hashbrown stuff was nasty, (because the cheese got) and the pizzas were delicious. We took a short nap before I had to work and now I am here. I'm going to donate plasma tomorrow (I'll get an extra $20 if I donate 4 more times this month, hurray!). Other than that nothing to significant is going on. Just writing for writings sake. I'll see you all on the flip side.

Shawn

Breakdown's alright

Howdy-doo everyone. I hope everyone had a very nice weekend. Me, I'm doing better now due to the fact that my breakdown is over. I was a big jerk this weekend to Shanna and out of nowhere just told her that, "I can't sit around and do nothing all the time!", which was quite out of place and inappropriat. Then I felt really bad after she left and slept for a long time. When I woke up I still felt like crap, so I did some stupid stuff like watching a movie and buying soda. Then I was still feeling bad so I went to see a movie (by myself because I was being a loner at the time). The movie I saw was "Sideways" and it had a really deep impact on me. It spoke out to me a lot about how I was feeling about my life being on a steady decline. The main character thinks that after he got divorced he just tries to hold onto the little pieces that he has left and doesn't try for anything more. So after the movie I called Shanna and apologized to her and was a total wreck. Thoughts were running through my head that I must get my plans going to start a career or something that has meaning for my future. I don't want to just hold onto the past. Now I feel much better and hopefully will be doing more things that will involve me actually progressing as appose to regressing. I must stop being so distant when it comes to my relationships with people. I had this feeling of being just okay for so long and I hate it. Being okay is terrible. There's just no emotion involved with it. It's a callus over feelings. When something bad happens to me I want to react to it. I want to have it affect me and my behavior. Not just shrug it off and say "no worries" or something to that effect. Well anyways, I probably should be doing some stuff here at work. I will keep on posting so keep on reading.

shawn

Yo, Temblar

Hello there old friend. Well today I don't have anything to say really. I watched a spectacular movie called "Mean Creek" last night at work. I also watched "Ordinary Desent Criminal" with Kevin Spacey this morning, which was a pretty good film too. Other than that I went to bed for a while and had this weird feeling that someone was after me if I didn't get up at 10:20 which was very strange. The weird thing was that I was having the dream and he was chasing me inside of the Hampton Inn when all of the sudden I woke up because of my alarm and I thought that he was breaking though my front door. I swore I heard a noise of some sort and then my bedroom door he came into (by this time I'm sitting up in bed just staring at the unopened door). I was more sleepy then freaked out so I decided more sleep was neccessary. That's all I'm off for the weekend so I will post again on Sunday night. Take care now.

Shawn

Postmaster Shawnamus

Okay, so I'm going to try and post everyday now (excluding the weekend for which I do not have internet access available). Today was an okay day in spite of the fact that my neighbors actually came back! Curse them! My landlord was going to come over and see if she could evict them but they left. Oh well, things are still good. I tried helping Shanna do her taxes online but felt very inadaquete when trying to put in her student loan stuff. During the tax fiasco Shanna got a job offer and immediately accepted it. She's working 1st shift now monday through friday! Now we can do nothing on the weekend together. Hurray! I hope everything works out well for her. She should be here any minute to make a peanut butter and jelly bagel for work tomorrow. I also rented a crap-load of movies and I got a game as well. I think that is about all for now I will keep in touch tomorrow and continue my streak of blogging.

Shawn

SSDD

Is this SSDD? The answer, very much so. I need to do something productive with my life again. Granted, sometimes there may be complaining on my part about doing stuff, but that's just me being a whiney baby. Having free time is just the most overated thing ever. All that I do with my free time is stuff that I really don't want to do in the first place. Maybe I'll want to play some games for a bit, but not each and everyday. Oh well, *sigh*, but I'm going to do a whole bunch of nothing for a little while because I'm at work. I'll check in later.

Shawn

* Nobody posts on my blog :(