Confessions of Shawn

I decided that I would try and write down all of my faults (that I can think of) here in attempts to better myself

1. I lie a lot. Even about stupid stuff that has no real bearing on my life.
2. I change who I am depending on who I'm around. I know people do that a lot, especially when hanging out with your girlfriend or family, but I do it with just about every person.
3. I despise my mother. More so now, not having to see her everyday. I used to have this way of zoning her out everyday when I was younger. But now I talk to her every few months or so and just wonder how she could treat me the way she did. It really disturbs me now.
4. I'm taking characteristics of my mother. I'm excedingly freaked out by this. I think it's just the fact that she's not there anymore and there's this void, all be it a good void, but a void none the less. I remember how I used to think that, for the most part, people were good. Mainly because they weren't her. But with her gone I can get an overall view of people and not compare them to her.
5. I am very lazy.
6. I have no backbone. Not literally.
7. I'm incredibly insensitive. Except for the times that I decide to have an emotional breakdown.
8. I hold grudges. (Which I've been actually doing pretty good on so far.)
9. I argue to the death that I'm right instead of just letting things go.
10. I killed JFK... wait... I mean... the bullet.. fired by Lee Harvey Oswald that did the 360 in midair did... yeah..
11. I like to screw with peoples minds. Horrible, I know, but these are the confessions.


There are some more that I'm not going to say right now, but I know what they are so that's good enough for me. I just wanted to say something truthful. I'm going to be 21 soon and that's kind of freaky for me. I can't say that I've been dissappointed with the way my life has turned out thus far, but I also can't say that it's been everything that I've ever dreamed. The thought of having children when I get a little older and more stable has crossed my mind resently. I always thought that I would be a terrible father that would never pay any attention to them. Since Nolan went to Utah, all I want to do is go out there and see him. He's not even my son, and I have such strong connection to him. Feeling those feelings toward my nephew, I know it would be ten fold that if I were to ever have children of my own. When the day comes when my main faults diminish and I have some stabilily in my life I would like to adopt children of my own. That's about all for tonight, I think I emoticized (oh yes, that's a word) myself enough for now. Thank you and good night.

Shawn