Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit? Why do you wear that stupid man suit?

Okay so my title was a little weird. Watch "Donnie Darko" and you'll understand a bit. Anyways I thought it best to update on the triviality that is my life. Not much has happened to me since my last post. The state thought it best to give me some of the money back that I paid them this year, which is a plus. And hopefully my country will do the same on Friday. The crack dealing neighbors are gone for good I think now. Although their car is still in the driveway, they haven't moved it in a week and a half. I personally think that the car is stolen so they just left it and bolted. My landlord is going to look at their appartment tomorrow and check and see if they are gone or dead. I did about 4 hours of training online yesterday at work because we are upgrading to a new system that is only 97% identical to the version we have now. Hopefully I will do something this weekend. I haven't been doing much with them. Mainly because I'm a freak that is agoraphobic, but partly because I've become excessively introverted. The will to do stuff is there but then I get there and I feel weird. Oh well... when in Rome. Anywho I'm off to do whatever it is that I do here. I will update again sometime and I hope you are ready for it because it will be very important*.

Shawn

*- Results may very

The Great Job Search

Well not much happened today and I was opposed to sleeping so I went with Shanna to help her find a different job. We went to a whole bunch of places and one of them was the old Holiday Inn Express (my former employer). I went inside with her to get an application and she filled it out there. It was very awkward being there and it looked as though every that I knew there hates my guts (swell). But those people were all my bosses and they really don't matter because they are just moneymongers anyway. Other than that we rented "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow", which let me tell you, is... kind of out of date. It just wasn't a good movie, at all, like at all at all, it blew, a whole bunch, and Angelina Jolie looked like a pirate (hey look guys it's Steve the pirate). I just finished watching "Cellular" which was kind of sub-par but not too bad. I got a papercut when I first arrived here. It is underneath my fingernail and is in tremendous pain. If trees were bees and bees were trees, how the hell would they pollinate?

Janesville and culture!?

I thought it was an oxymoron until now but I went to go see Jesus Christ Superstar and the new JPAC and it was incredible. Not to mention the fact of how many people were there, it was quite astounding. JCS isn't one of my personal favorites as far as musicals go, but it was still very well performed and sung. It was kind of strange seeing all the people I knew from high school there but at the same time very pleasant. Overall it was a very good weekend with little to no injury. On a much sadder note, Johnny Carson died on Sunday. I think we are all a little crushed on the inside by this. I can still remember staying up some nights and watching his shows which were hilarious. Without him there might not be some of the great comedic minds out there right now. A reporter asked him one day what he would like on his epitaph, and he said, "I'll be right back." Good mindset to have about your own dimise I think. That's all I wrote for now keep in touch.

Shawn

Commentary on psychobabble

Okay, so I feel a bit better from the few days ago in which I went off the handle about humanity. Yeah, I understand that I sounded very illogical and deranged but that's me for ya. Putting all that stuff aside for the moment, I have some very good news. I am going to buy a new pair of black work shoes tomorrow!!! Isn't that the most exciting thing that you have ever heard? I might possibly get my haircut as well! What a wonderfully swell time indeed. I have shut off the heat in my apartment because the bill was really expensive last month. So I moved everything into my room and got a spaceheater. Esperanza starts up again next week (I think) and that will give me something to do. And tax time is here so I will get some money back from my return (hurray)! Currently I am in a dilema of massive proportions though. I don't know if I should save my money, spend it on something ridiculus that I don't need, spend it on my car loan, go to Las Vegas, or my personal fun choice would be to go to Japan. Send me your opinions on this, (if anyone is still reading this thing) it would be greatly appreciated.

Shawn

Christmas time at Shanna's house. It looks like I'm choking Shanna and that Corney, Beelzebub, has no arms. 

Introversion to the max!

I need to stop thinking. Just stop thinking. When one is by themselves in a very isolated area for many hours day after day, it gets to you. My mind keeps on racing with ridiculous ideas about anything and everything that pops into it. It's the permanent dilema I seem to have. If I work 2nd shift somewhere I've a much more sane person but then I have to deal with people (which is not my most favorite thing). I just fear that I will end up like my mother soon. I can already see some of the things I hated in her sprouting up in my behavior. It could just be that I need to relax or get another job but I don't think any of that would help. I mean, this is a good job and I really do like it here. At the same time though I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Perhaps I need to get all of my thoughts out of my head and on to paper. I think I could write a book but it would be a massive jumble of thoughts that are not strung together (like Johnny Get Your Gun). I would go to a psychiatrist but they cost money that I don't have. The most overwhelming thought I constantly have is about why we are not a utopian society. I just am in total disbelief that with our intelligence as a people that we cannot stop fighting each other. Fear is a foreign concept to me and I see everyone else living in fear. Fear of war, losing money, death, etc., but the biggest fear I see in people is the fear of being alone. Fear that they need to be something else in order to stay with society. The fear that if everything isn't done a certain way or if your opinion doesn't fit in, you're out. It's fear that rules us. And my being alone and having time to think about my life. I realize that people choose to live in fear because they don't want to think, they don't want to decide, they just want to be happy. Which brings me back to the why we don't have a utopian society, which is the easy question. Peoples idea of happiness varies from person to person. And no matter how selfless some people can be. The majority are very selfish and egotistical. To eliminate an emotion would be a massive step in evolution and would probably take a great deal of time. I would imagine that our planet will have ceased to exist before the time comes that we could have perfection (*sigh*). I know our nature makes us so that we can't defy it for the most part, but it can be done. It's all a matter of choice.
But anyways I should probably end my ranting for a while and go back to sanity for a few moments. Maybe I am wrong, but all I do know is that society hasn't been what I would of hoped it would be when I was younger. I choose my own life and will not be misguided by fear perhaps we should all make that decision.

Shawn

New year bliss

Well it's the new year and I have decided a few things. For one I have given up my internet service at home. I decided that I really don't need to be any more anti-social than I am already. Other than that I don't think I have very much stuff to say. Someone tried to break into my house via my livingroom window and when they pushed the window I got out of bed to see what was up. I see two people trying to peak their heads through my window. That's when I said as politely as possible "Get the fuck out of my house before I call the cops!" They heeded my advice and I think one of them fell when trying to run away, HAH. So now I got a deadbolt put on my door for added security. My crackhead neighbors are getting evicted soon (hopefully) and Levi and Cortney were planning on moving in there. I was also asked by them if I wanted to be in their wedding party and I agree with an enthusiasm equivalent to that of the tearing down of the Berlin wall (not really though). Sorry I'm not online anymore to everyone I used to talk to but I didn't see the point in paying 55 bucks a month for something I don't use that often anyways. But that's all for now. I will still probably be online sometimes after 11p.m. at work and stuff. Talk to you later.

Shawn