Coincidence? Maybe, but somehow not.

Today went by as any other one of my Tuesday's usually do. I went and donated plasma with Ian and afterward we went to the library. Ian was looking for stuff on the "fictional" land of Narnia when all of the sudden when checking again on a nearby computer it was sitting right next to him. I found this to be incredibly coincidental yet very eerie. So I get home and eat something and go to bed. Alright, this is where I think that the fates have intervened with my life. So, around 1:20 a.m. when I'm watching family guy. Afton Wergeland walks through the door. Many of you don't know who she is so I will tell you. Afton was a former girlfriend of one Scott Tallman. Also, I lived with her and Scott for about 2 months. I have not seen or talked to this person in about a year or so. So on with my story of the "coincidence". I look at her like I've seen a ghost or something, which she picked up on right away. We talked for about an hour about life and what not. I asked her the big question first off "What are you doing here?", because she lives about 4 hours away. She said she was on the way to New York and she hadn't slept in days. "Probably a bad idea" I said when she told me this. She said that she was on medication and really just couldn't sleep. I talked to her a lot about Scott and asked her the question that I had to know and couldn't get an honest answer from any of her predecessors, "Why do all the girls he sees fall madly in love with him?" Her answer "I really don't know, he doesn't do anything." which was the most honest answer I could imagine. Being alone, that's the only motivation sometimes to stay with someone. I reflected upon myself whilst talking with her about Scott. Then she proceeded to tell me about all the drinking that she does by when she's talking on her webcam. Appearantly she drinks quite a bit. She looked so stressed out and just on the edge, but the main thing she said was that she was happy now being by herself. I don't know if she was lying to me or lying to herself or lying at all. She was all medicated so I don't really know the answer. I think she can be happier now by herself although she doesn't have anyone there for her all the time it's better than living with someone that doesn't really show compassion. I'm in a total mirror mode right now. I'm Scott and Shanna is Afton. Or maybe it's vice versa. That doesn't even matter, what matters is that although we both don't want to be alone, we can't go on being a non-whole pair. Afton left about 2:05 and now I'm writing this. I can't get it out of my head the massively appropriat timing of this. I feel okay now. Really quite okay. Being alone really sucks, but not being yourself eats away at you until you become a shell. I'm not knocking having relationships or anything like that, if that was implied. Just try and maintain who YOU are, whilst making compromises and what not. Well that was a long one. I hope that everybody has a wonderful day. If not... write me an e-mail and I will send you happiness back.

Shawn